Go iFuck Yourself
The new episode of South Park is dumb. In some episodes, the guys hit on some awesomely witty social commentary, and I absolutely fucking love it. However, some episodes, you can tell they're just pushing the boundaries for the sake of pushing the boundaries, and their episode about "raping indiana jones" in the latest movie is pretty obviously one of the latter. I get it guys, the movie probably sucked, but you don't have to spend an entire episode showing two old guys raping another guy. The only redeeming part of the episode was Butters accidentally shooting everyone in the dick, which frankly was hilarious. To do something so evil Cartman won't even be a part of it is a great feat indeed.
I'm really sick of all the iPhone commercials showing everyone how their device is the shit because it does things like play music and video games. Hey, you know what else does that? A fucking mp3 player, and a fucking video game system. There's certain devices that should be combined into an awesome new piece of machinery, and these things aren't really necessary, especially since the cost of the iPhone is much higher than most of the separate pieces if they were individually purchased. You know how much an iPhone costs? 599 dollars. Fuck me. You know how much my new phone cost, which has a camera, internet, mp3's, and also can call people? 20 bucks. That leaves me 579 bucks to get a video game system. Shit, I could buy a new TV and an xbox and still wipe my ass with the extra 100 bucks. Not to mention buying anything from Apple makes you look like a douche by comparison. I used a Macintosh once, and it made me physically shake with anger. It's kind of like they took a PC, added the only good program they ever made, iTunes, which you can get on a PC as well, and then removed everything that made sense (including a second mouse button, what the hell). One mouse button? If I wanted to press buttons on 10 different pieces of hardware to accomplish a single task, I'd travel back to 1944 and grab an MK1 Colossus. For those of you that don't know, that's the first fully electric computer, yunno, the one that was the size of a fucking house and solved basic mathematical equations.
My point is this, Steve Jobs; quit blowing yourself for a few minutes and look around. Mix useful things together. You might as well be building a phone that has a microwave and a skateboard in it, and charge people 5,000 dollars for it. I can microwave shit at home, where I eat, and I don't need to do a kickflip while I'm talking to Jim.
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