virgin mobile Can Kiss My Non-Virgin Balls

Today a got a new phone, the LG Musiq, or something. It's a great replacement for my piece of shit virgin mobile prepaid phone. You'll notice that I capitalize Sprint and LG during this update, but not virgin mobile. That's because virgin mobile hasn't earned what they've earned! I swear to god their phones move in slow motion. I can literally punch in an entire phone number and the first digit will not have appeared on the screen yet. I'm talking a minimum nine digits here, people. What I'm trying to say is that if virgin mobile was a single person, I would beat their ass and steal their lunch money, fritter it away on frivolous things, and then return and beat their ass again. Their service itself was actually pretty good, except in places where no phone company gets service, like my parent's house, or the center of the earth. But there's no excuse for selling people shitty ass phones that charge you 12 dollars a minute.
Anyway, the LG whateverthefuck has some pretty cool features, which to anyone else who's bought a cell phone in the last three years probably seem normal. It has a camera and video recording feature. It plays mp3's, although unfortunately they cannot be turned into a custom ringtone. This is a little ridiculous, considering the only thing you'd need to do to code this into possibility would be creating a macro to play from the flash disk instead of the hard drive when a call came in, then again I'm no phone scientist. It also came with a headphone adapter that lets me take calls during mp3 plays, and then hang up, and the mp3 starts again, all without touching the phone. Plus, it's got a built in FM transmitter so I can play mp3's from the phone through my car stereo, or any stereo for that matter. Fancy shit. You can import pictures onto the flash drive for backgrounds and caller id pictures, so I don't have to use the shitty 1.5 megapixel pictures from the phone's camera for things of that nature. I mean, look at how much these mildly attractive girls like it!


That chick on the left really, REALLY enjoys it, almost as much as she enjoys acid. Now they can finally take pictures of themselves drunk and topless at parties, upload the pictures to their myspaces, then pretend their friend did it and act prudish and irritated, demanding the pictures be taken down! Hurray! And they can do it all while listening to some god awful Colbie Caillat song!

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