Yay, Candy Juice Hands!

Today I saw a commercial for Yamaha products. They were four wheelers, or dirt bikes, or something. These commercials epitomize hypocrisy. They literally showed, in the fine print at the bottom, "Respect the environment" as they showed a four wheeler plowing through a forest, running over plants and driving through ponds, no doubt killing hundreds of fish and other small animals along the way. I think they should change the fine print to "Respect the environment, unless you're totally thrashing TO THE EXTREME!". I think this would more accurately convey their message.

I think if I was a dragon, I would probably fly around all day, capturing princesses and terrorizing small villages of peasants all day too. I mean, that shit just looks fun.

Does anyone in the world actually wear candy bracelets? It probably seemed like a good idea, it's candy, you can wear it, and eat it, and oh boy let's mass produce. However, there are two very simple reasons why you shouldn't wear them.

1. Makes you look really gay
2. Permanently stains your skin

Seriously, if you're actually putting that shit on, you might as well dye some sugar water different colors and pour it all over your arms and neck until you're so sticky you can climb walls, because that's what the end result will be. It's kind of like those ring pops, they're all fun and flavor at first, until you're wearing a stick covered in your own spit on your hand.

See, that chick in the picture is trying to wipe that candy grease off, but that shit isn't ever coming off. It's like a tramp stamp for the neck, but she doesn't even get the satisfaction of having the message she wanted on there, like "Juicy", or "Bootylicious", or "I engage in intercourse in enchange for money".

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