Please Drive Through Into a Canyon

Today I was working the drive through, and a young lad and his girlfriend (aka whip) came through. I gave them the usual greeting and asked what they wanted. He said "What do I want?", to which his bitchy girlfriend shrieked "You want a chai big chill!!!" and I swear to God the speaker gave me feedback when she said that. The guy didn't understand what she was saying, so you'd think he'd ask her to repeat it, or perhaps look at the menu to find a beverage similar to the one she said, right? I'm afraid if you answered yes, you are an optimist and you greatly exaggerate the depth of human intelligence. He basically yelled out gibberish that sort of sounded like what she told him to order, which came out along the lines of "Chaow bib cheeoooooooo". I can't even imagine the kind of brain power it takes to do something like this. I waiting about 30 seconds and then replied "uhh.... what?". I honestly didn't know what to say. Luckily I always have a camera ready, and I caught a picture of him when he was saying chaow bib cheo.


At this point the dumb girl in the passenger seat starts freaking out, and at one point actually screamed the sound of nails on a chalkboard, that shit was dead on. I said "your total will be blah blah blah please pull ahead", slowly put the headset down, locked the drive through window, and crawled underneath the counter in the fetal position sucking my thumb. I was terrified that if I had any more contact with either of these two people, that I would rapidly become dumber. I call this the "Dan Quayle Factor". Basically, it's anyone who says or does things so stupid that you develop a headache instantly, and actually begin forgetting things that you've already learned. This is a person that says things like "For NASA, space is still a top priority", or "It isn't pollution that's hurting the environment, it's the impurities in the air and water that are doing it". Sounds too stupid to be true, but those are actual quotes from the man himself.

I guess the point I'm trying to make is that you should avoid dumb people at all costs, because they can have great debilitating effects on your thinking ability. You smart people know who you are. Unfortunately you dumb people don't, you probably think that you're smart too, because you're too dumb to realize that you're not smart. It's the only way to explain why things like this keep happening around me.

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